Posted by: the warrioress | October 18, 2011

Learning About Real Friendship

I’ve discovered some interesting things about friendship after my experience of leaving MD. I didn’t have a lot of friends on that site, but I had some that were and are definitely more than mere acquaintances. These people actually cared about me. Some of them are married or are in serious long-term relationships.  Despite this, these people stood up for me when I was treated badly at MD and they always backed me up over and over; they continue to do that very thing as of today even!

I post an exclamation point because it still kind of surprises me in the times we’re living in, when people betray their own family and children at the drop of a hat. Yet I’ve discovered that I actually selected some truly loyal friends. If only these people were nearer to me, distance-wise. I can only imagine if I had actually been able to meet Jankia and his lady, Brenda, or could have gotten to know Jeff and his wife-to-be, in person.

These are the kinds of people whom one could live a long while knowing and caring for. They are just really “good people.” And there were others.. too many to name here in this one entry, but I won’t forget the times that they stood by me and continue to do so.  Servant of Christ and Suthn’man … were loyal, sincere friends whom I will stay in touch with indefinitely, thankfully.

And there are those who shocked me….

There was one in particular whom I thought was someone who would never turn upon me, who I believed would be by my side until the end of my time on this earth. I suppose I was overestimating what I believed Larry and I shared, despite the fact that we never spoke off of the site, but I considered this gentleman to really be someone I could count on, who considered me a true friend.

Imagine my shock when I found that he turned on me completely and didn’t even recognize what was perpetrated by the moderation there and the pack of God-hating bullies that were consistently on my tail day in and day out.  Of course, this man remained in the blogging side of the site so he missed a lot, but I expected that he knew me, that our friendship meant more to him than how he treated it when all was said and done. I was pretty stunned at the backstabbing and lack of anything resembling understanding he offered after I departed. He just dug that knife in deeper via the written word.  Live and learn, I guess.

There were those who I thought were probably pretty good people, who showed their true, gossipy colors after I left the site.  They laughed and made cruel jokes at my expense. A few of them actually claimed they were Christians, which was really kind of astonishing. And certain others  blatantly told outright lies about me and I couldn’t even defend myself without returning to the site to attempt to. I no longer had much if any desire to do so. When one watches one’s self be consistently demeaned and lied about though, even after one has departed, it’s hard not to speak up for one’s self.

Gossips on the site claimed I had created other profiles and that my original one, Southernlass, wasn’t the only one. They claimed I didn’t believe in communicating with others who are not Christian and mouthed off several other falsehoods. They believed they saw me at the site in countless fake profiles, and this was really kind of amusing. The woman who is still obsessed with me saw me here, there, and practically everywhere; yet I was nowhere to be seen on that site!

I observed some pretty ugly behavior that surprised me because I try to see the good in most, when possible, and I didn’t see a lot of good out of several;  I saw some disappointing, petty, immature behavior that doesn’t show the best of human nature.

It may take time to move forward and leave that internet locale completely behind me, mentally-speaking.  When we stay somewhere a long time, it can become a part of us and that place initially did become a part of me, as did some of the people there. Unfortunately, it was not what I thought it was…

It was ruined for me by poor, unfair, biased moderation that was heavy-handed and terribly inconsistent, as well as a group of troll-like bullies who freely act as they wish, with impunity.  They actually intimidate the membership with the moderator’s blessing, apparently. There is little one can do when this is the case so I am moving on to the next of life’s lessons and the companions that these will bring me.

I will remember and fondly think of those who remain my friends, who treated me well, however, …always. Thank you again, to those of you who did so;  I won’t forget you. I hope you will keep up with me here.

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Posted by: the warrioress | October 17, 2011

Leaving MD

It’s been a little while now since I left, or it feels that way, at any rate.

I had been there for quite literally years – three to be exact. I had considered it a community, almost a neighborhood, a sanctuary, a place that was like a second home. After sustaining a serious injury that impacted my ability to get around, being welcome there began to seem pretty important, (probably more important than I should have ever allowed it to become).

There was a problem with my membership there and that problem can be basically summed up in a few words.

I’m a bible-believing Christian.

What this means is that I believe the bible is the god-breathed, inspired ‘word of God.’ I believe what the scripture says about it. I don’t believe that the words within the bible are in error. I believe that we have been offered something that was written by the faithful many years ago in order to guide us. What we choose to do with those words as they relate to our lives is strictly up to us.

These beliefs were a  problem for many at my former home on the internet. I was challenged because of my beliefs on a daily basis by a host of trolls and would-be bullies, who were simply not happy unless they were crapping in my proverbial Cheerios. They proceeded to bait, taunt, and terrorize me. If I dared stand up for myself, I was immediately reported to the biased moderation team of one, (this is all that now remains), and I was promptly disciplined and timed out while the instigators got off scott free; these dysfunctional people were part of a close knit group that had been with the site for a long time and continued their rampage with impunity despite moderation knowing what was occurring. Things went on like this for quite sometime.

Over the many months of my membership, I made several friends and a lot of people really liked me, despite the unceasing trolling that they watched me enduring. I was able to justify staying at that site because the people I primarily considered friends, knew what was going on and supported me. Because of this, it didn’t really matter about the unreasonable, unfair treatment I was tolerating because I felt it was more important that I continue sharing the message I was given, that all Christians are admonished to share, to the best of my ability.

It became more and more impossible, however, and I was increasingly under serious attack by what I can only describe as “God-haters.” These individuals no longer had anything against me personally; they hated me purely and completely because I am a Christian who stands up for and believes the bible. I would correct their intentional erroneous quotations from the bible, along with their twisting completely out of context, the words within the good book. They were engaging in a process of attempting to spread the opposite of what I was sharing. I would blog or post about God, my experiences with God and Jesus Christ, or simply about what is happening in our world today as it relates to Christianity, and my posts or blogs would be attacked, reported, and trolled mercilessly.

There was one troll, in particular, that became quite obsessed with my writings and posts, in that she began to follow me around and actually direct her own writings at that place to me! This was distressing and embarrassing for me. I attempted to ignore her but she became ever more flagrant in her attempts. I eventually had to confront her and in doing so, I found myself sitting alongside of the internet highway, ousted and alone, all of my writings gone, (though I did make copies of most of them). There wasn’t even a warning given, or even any response to my numerous queries about the quite literal persecution I was putting up with up to that point. I was quite simply and plainly “cast out.”

I spent the first week or so of this action “in seclusion.” I suppose one could say that I was meditating on what had occurred and attempting not to take the whole thing too personally. Eventually, I joined a specifically Christian site that is large and welcoming to my kind, and prepared to settle in for the duration. I could not forget what had happened to me, however, and something within me was just not content. Something else needed to happen, but what was it?

I now know what it was.

I was not to stop writing. I was simply to find a new venue to share within where my writings would be appreciated, where I would not be unreasonably censored, where I would be welcomed. I needed to find another home where I could be me and be accepted for who I am, despite my religious beliefs, and my writings would be valued by those who were led to value them. I think I may have found this sheltering place and am sitting within these hallowed internet halls and contemplating my new beginning… here.

Thank you and God bless you, Word Press.

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