life of a female bible warrior

NEW AGE ANONYMOUS

12 Steps For The Recovering New Ager

New Age Anonymous World Service, Inc.,

PO Box 144,001

Planet Earth

  Contents

THE TWELVE STEPS

Step One

“We admitted we were powerless over the New Age & that our Higher Selves had turned us into flakes.”

Step Two

“Came to believe that a powerful bullshit detector could restore us to sanity.”

Step Three

“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our lower selves and a good psychiatrist.”

Step Four

“Made a searching and fearless disposal of our crystals, tarot decks, incense, angel cards, rising signs, wands, spells, medicine wheels, pendulums and lottery tickets.”

Step Five

“Admitted to God, our Guru and our seminar leader the exact nature of our delusion.”

Step Six

“Were entirely ready to take back our mind, body and spirit.”

Step Seven

“Humbly asked our Higher Power to fark off.”

Step Eight

“Made a list of all the New Age assholes we’d been nice to and vowed to treat them all like sh*t.”

Step Nine

“Insulted the New Age wherever possible, especially when to do so made us look bad.”

Step Ten

“Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly relished in it.”

Step Eleven

“Sought through television and newspapers to improve our conscious contact with humanity, concentrating only on our ability to understand what the hell was really happening in the world.”

Step Twelve

“Having avoided a paradigm shift as the result of these steps, we vowed to carry the NAA message to New Agers everywhere and to practice being ordinary in all our affairs.”